Marriage Equality Maine

Marriage equality has long been debated in Maine, starting in 2004 when Maine began allowing domestic partnerships.  This was a nice step in the right direction, but it was a bit like telling black people that, while they can't use your bathroom, they can have their own separate one.  Then in 2009 the Maine State Legislature passed the "Act To End Discrimination in Civil Marriage and Affirm Religious Freedom" and Governor Baldacci became the first Governor in the country to sign a same sex marriage into law.  Unfortunately the people of Maine petitioned to have the bill voted on and repealed it later that year.

Earlier this year Maine put same sex marriage to a public vote and passed it 53% to 47%, so what was different this time around?  One of the main differences is that it was put to a popular vote and not voted on by the state legislature without the people of the state having any say in the matter - it upset a lot of people that not only did they pass it without the approval of the people, but that the committee investigating the support for such a bill suggested that the issue be put to vote by the voters, and the state senate voted down an amendment to put it to popular vote (it's not a good reason to vote against something like this, but it did upset a lot of people that they didn't get a say).

Probably the main difference this time around I think was that they had conservative groups involved in writing the proposition.  Believe it or not there is actually a significant number of conservatives (especially libertarian leaning conservatives) who support marriage equality (it's the minority, but it's a significant minority).  Having these groups involved helped make the case that you can be conservative and still support gay marriage (and really, conservatives are supposed to support personal freedom and small government, so the case really isn't that hard to make).  Even religious conservatives who believe homosexuality is a sin can be persuaded to support personal freedoms - my religion believes that drinking and smoking are sins, but I would never go around telling people they can't drink or smoke if they choose to (although I would beg any ladies reading this not to smoke; it's been shown to cause breasts to sag, and saggy boobs make me sad), I just don't participate in them if I think they conflict with what I believe.

The Reality Sinking In.

It's finally starting to sink in that marriage equality is a real thing now. During the campaigns and the final days leading up to the elections I was reading Stephen King's "11/22/63" which talks about how the religious extremists viewed equal rights for anyone but the middle class white male in the late 50s and early 60s, and it got me thinking - this is how it is.
Through various discussions, and some light reading, I have come to find that our country will always contain people who are intolerant and hate-filled. I find joy in reading about the Civil Rights movements through the 60s and 70s, and about the people who were brave enough to say "this isn't fair, and will no longer be tolerated!" What amazing people led the way!
I want nothing more than a world that accepts the differences in each other as beautiful instead of something to be feared. I long for a time when the reality of equality is realized for all, but my heart breaks as I realize it will never happen. For every small victory we win for equality there is another battle forming in the skirt tails.
If you think about it, Communism wasn't that bad for that very purpose - everyone was equal. Of course, overbearing dictator aside, it was still a flawed system, but my point remains.

Truthin' about Liam

As a Conservative/Libertarian, who was born and raised (and is a currently practicing) Mormon, and an almost 30 year old virgin, you might be wondering how much I can really contribute to a blog about sex and sexuality - and I'd be wondering that right along with you.  But as a heterosexual male, from a conservative and religious background I HOPE to be able to bring a viewpoint on how people from an opposing background might (and I would argue should) view different sexual preferences and backgrounds.  Despite the (sometimes deserved) stigma that conservative, and especially religious people get, I'm very open to talking and joking about sex, and accepting of different viewpoints and lifestyles.

I appreciate the beauty of the female body, and I'm not completely ignorant of all things sexual; I've never felt sexual attraction to men, and I've certainly never lacked sexual attraction to women, so I don't doubt that I would be heterosexual regardless of my upbringing or other lifestyle choices.  I also recognize that what is right for me may not be right for everyone else, and I don't begrudge anyone the right to live the way they feel is best for them, and I don't believe it's my place to judge them for it.  Despite conventional wisdom I think my openmindedness and ability to accept other people exactly the way they are actually come from my religiosity and conservatism.

So hopefully I can show you that being a conservative and a religious person doesn't necessarily make you a bigot, although it may happen more often than I would like to admit.

-Liam

Kalvinry

Who am I you ask? I am: The one and only, Kalvin. Born in 87 like Wally West's run as the Flash (Flash fact). I consider myself Bi-sexual as having had sex with a man, but I am much more a fan of women. I have had roughly 20ish female sexual partners. I was married to one for 5ish years and was with another girl for 2ish years. I have taken the virginity of two girls in my life and, at this point, I don't intend to ever again, because I am in a very happy relationship that should last the rest of our lives. I once looked at a book on sexual positions in a Barnes and Noble and found out I have done a lot of the ones in the book...about half I would say. I digress, sex to me is not a sin or a horrible thing if done by unmarried persons or even people under the age of 18. I lost my virginity at 12 years old to a 30 year old. Yes, technically I was raped, but I was a willing participant so I don't really care to much about it. It just means I got started earlier then most and that's not a bad thing 'per say' since I only have one child. I think there is a difference between fucking and making love. Fucking is between two people who just want to get off, not to say those people aren't in love, just that they are in a more primal mindset and aren't into being slow and sensual. Making love is very different and doesn't happen that much since you have to deeply care for the person. Sex is a very complicated subject to me because I am smart enough to understand the angles (badumtss) involved, like having a child or having sex with a virgin, a one night hook up, a long term relationship, friends with benefits. There is a lot more to it than most people think, because people are generally ignorant to the ways of the world. I am always open to more questions, but that's what popped into my head for my "About Me" section. In closing: I love sex and never intend to stop...just intend to stop with more than the amazing woman I am with :) 

Kalvin  

About Me: This Is A Lie (Sami)

For as long as I can remember I have had feelings of sexual attraction to both men and women. I was raised a Mormon and was instructed in the evilness of these feelings (though nobody actually knew about them, I kept it a secret). I have not been a member of the Mormon church for a while now, but the social shame is still there; I cannot express who I am without fear. The fear I feel is not one associated with implied repercussions of immoral actions, but of potential rejection and humiliation by loved ones. I don't want to be hated.
The term "Pansexual" was handed to me by a long-time friend in response to my explanation of how I felt about my sexuality. I have never been educated about gender roles outside of the archaic "women in the kitchen with the babies, men in front of the football game with the beer" mindsets. I knew that homosexuality existed, I even knew that bisexuality existed, but I knew very little about them. In knowing and loving people who identify as something other than the previously mentioned archaic norms I have learned a great deal about myself and my world.
A common misconception about the unknown is that asking questions is unwelcome or even offensive. I love asking questions and delving deeply into someone else's concepts of the world. I find that, when there is true interest with no malicious intent, most people are more than willing to open up about themselves and the things they know. What I have learned and what I know has come from asking questions and being unafraid of offending someone with my curiosity. In a world where different is no longer bad, but is becoming more widely accepted, it is not only appropriate, but necessary to be asking questions - a lot of them.

In this blog I intend to address things that are interesting about sexuality, things that are interesting about sex, and what I find to be sensual and attractive. This is not my true identity, so I have no reason to fear honesty here. I am what  I am and that is what I've always been: a Pansexual, even if it's still a secret.